Santa hitch up inna Mango Tree!

Well folks.. its been yet another wild and wonderful year. Its been only four months for me in the blogosphere and its been great! I am in Jamaica for Christmas.. and have already got caught up in the food, family, friends and fetes. I am enjoying every second of it.
I wish for you, all my new friends a very Merry Christmas and may 2007 be THE BEST YEAR EVER .. filled with happiness, love and joy. See you guys again early in the new year... I have lots more stories to tell. ;)
love, Ms. Spice

On 'lips of an angel'

This song offends me. It touches a nerve. The radio stations won't stop playing it and I can't stop listening. Turning it up and singing along. This is why ex's creep me out.

LIPS OF AN ANGEL - Hinder
Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I,
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

The whole world of infidelity is a dark place I never want to visit. The reality has slapped me upside my head a few too many times tho. Thought I would always be able to say 'not me' but sticky situations are not always easy to avoid. Doesn't make it right. Still haven't done it, but the temptation has been real. This song gets under my skin.

On the Amateurs..

CHE LOVELACE's "THE AMATEURS" POSTER COLLECTION EXHIBITION.

HIGH SQUARE ART GALLERY 1A DERE STREET, PORT OF SPAIN.

LOVELACE WILL BE EXHIBITING THE 30 ORIGINAL PAINTINGS ALONG WITH 30 POSTER PRINTS FROM THE "AMATEURS" SERIES.

EXHIBITION IS OPEN DAILY FROM 9.00 am to 7:30 pm and CONTINUES UNTIL SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER 2006......

info: 362 6263 Since the end of June “The Amateurs” (Che Lovelace and Ravin Ramkissoon) have been DJ-ing at the More Vino wine bar and then from August on the rooftop of the Zen nightclub. Since inception the method of sending invitations to these events has been via e-mail in the form of original paintings by Che Lovelace which, with the participation of a graphic artist, were turned into a series of posters. These paintings are all based on scenes from the weekly gatherings, focusing on individuals, couples or groups in various poses and attitudes.

On a stream of conciousness ..

After much delay and some contemplation, the Chief finally came over. He had a bottle of chardonnay in his hand.. chilled. It was 5:07 in the afternoon. He poured. I was so nervous I could barely sit still. He talked. Did I ever mention how smooth he is? And how fine? Some things are nice from far but far from nice.. but this man sitting before me was simply beautiful. Simply. Beautiful. He asked me questions about myself. He was alot more laid back and friendly. I heard myself laughing and I felt my muscles relax..

He stood to leave. It was 9:45. Suddenly I didn't want him to go. He put out his arm to hug me. I smiled in his embrace. He kissed me with conviction. He tasted perfect. His palms were on my shoulder blades. He stepped away and sat down. He started talking again, this time more shaky. He asked if I remembered the day he dropped his speech. I smiled. We talked. We kissed. I told him that this could not work for me. Then he left.

We started meeting every afternoon. More talking. More kissing. He started planning 'dates'. I resisted him but I was there, every evening. He wanted to take me all over the world. I just wanted to go for dinner down the street. 'This relationship is not for me'. 'This relationship is NOT for me.' He listened, he rationalised, he structured his offer. No pretences. Straight up. The Alpha indeed. 'How about Barbados? We all have to go for work, you can stay back for the weekend.'

He called again, just as I hung up with the now postponed BJ. I felt vex and slighted. His charms fed my bruised ego. 'I'm gonna pack, talk to you in the morning' As I closed my suitcase, I stopped thinking about it, I stopped feeling guilty. The tournament went well, I saw him at the opening ceremony but my team was busy working the next few days. When our part was done, the bus came to take us to the airport. I stared at my mobile in my hands the whole trip. BJ wandered in and out of my mind. I stood on the pavement outside the terminal watching people go in. His priority ring knocked me from my daze.

'Where are you?' 'At the airport' 'Good, I will send a car for you right now' 'Ah.. no I don't think I want that..' 'Okay, I will come for you myself. Give me 5..' ' This relationship is not for me' 'Okay, I hear you, Spice' click.

My Christmas Elf Name

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

I will respond to this name ONLY for the next 14 days!! luv, D. Sugar-Socks

On whats on this weekend..

deVine Saturdays: Get in the spirit. Complimentary pastelles with every bottle of wine. Live Parang from Los Parranderos de UWI. @ MoreVino, Ariapita Avenue, Port of Spain.

Christmas Art Sale: An exclusive selection from some of Jamaica's finest including Gene Pearson, Cecil Cooper, Roy Ried, El Pedio, Beverly Oliver, Juliet Thorburn, Sonia Richards, Lennox Coke among others. Saturday and Sunday, 12:30 - 5:00 pm, Rollins Meadows, 5 Richings Ave, Off Hope Road. Free 1876 wine samples.. Excellent gifts.. I'd like this El Pedio please..

BOOM: Investa Fiesta Tres: These guys are rapidly becoming the next Frenchmen. A guaranteed good high quality lime. Will you be "bullish or bearish" at The Alcohol Exchange? @ 4 Hopefield Road, Kingston on Saturday the 9th from 9:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. Price includes your Boom Bucks. Presold only of course. Tickets from your reliable traders.

On being disgruntled..

Soo.. BJ booked a ticket to come visit. I was overjoyed despite my reservations.. Then he calls me to say 'Sorry babe.. it doesnt look possible for this weekend again..' He gave me a reasonable sounding excuse due to family committments. He even suggested another time [like a month away] based on both our schedules. I am disgruntled. [Always wanted an excuse to use that word] ... was that manspeak for 'I've changed my mind, I don't think this is a good idea anymore..'??

On out of sight, out of mind..

I won't even pretend to be philosophical.. simple question:
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Is out of sight really out of mind?
I read somewhere that relationships are never still, they are either growing closer or apart. What if they are put on hold for awhile? What happens then?

On the Golf World Cup 2006 ..

For all the golf-a-holics and the wanna-be's out there, I am just letting you know that the World Golf Championships of 2006 will be held in Barbados this year. The Chief, The Sultan, Mr Clean and Mr. Man are all on about it. It offically starts tomorrow. More info on the tournament can be found at their website. For those with absolutely no interest in golf, check out the fabulous Sandy Lane resort where it will be held... sweet!

The Chief. Part 3

There was a major crisis in the Tourism industry. Everyone and anyone was getting involved. This of course, included the Chief who was hosting daily press conferences. In the midst of the excitement he said something inaccurate and negative about my company. I was livid. Hot boss or no hot boss who the hell was he to be making public announcements about a major project of our company without some consultation?? Before I could even process it all, my CEO came to my office. I let him know exactly how I felt about it and he said he agreed and would speak to the Chief about how to move forward and repair our image.

Hours later, the CEO called from the Chief's office and said I was to join them as soon as possible. As I headed over there my thoughts raced. This time I was nervous not because I thought he was fine but because I was trying to think of how best to structure my criticsim of the Chief's earlier statements. When I reached, his secretary happily ushered me in and I found him as I did last time: coffee, newspaper and CNN. My CEO was nowhere to be seen. 'Ms. Spice. I hear you are not happy with my public speaking. Sit. Let's talk.'

I sat and, even though I thought he looked particularly dashing that day, I fixed my gaze at a spot above his head and launched into my tirade. I spoke of policy and procedure, pointed out the flaws in his statements and ended with my suggestions for damage control. He was silent. I placed my hands and my gaze in my lap bracing for his infamous temper. A few minutes passed, and when I looked up he was leaning back in his chair watching TV again. He turned to me and said: 'So, how was the visit to London? I hear its cold over there...'

There was yet another press conference the following morning about my company and my project. I was invited to sit at the head table. I leaned over to whisper to my CEO when a commotion and camera flashes heralded the arrival of the Chief. He smiled at me as he took the mike. For the next 15 minutes I listened as he spoke on policy and procedure.. suddenly I realised that he was repeating and expounding on all the things I had said the day before!! My face flushed as he ended by saying 'I will take your questions now but I will need to refer to Ms. Spice as necessary'. My CEO winked and gave me a thumbs up. When it was over the Chief leaned over and said 'Good job Ms. Spice. Welcome to the team.' My smile appeared in the newspaper the following day.

On Monday Morning Blues..

It's a rainy and bleak Monday here. Not sexy, tempestuous, tropical rain.. just drippy, constant, miserable London type rain. The kind that makes everywhere feel damp and your bones creak.

I went on a date this weekend. We went to see Borat. It sucked. Big time. My date laughed the whole time. ugh. I agreed to the movies only because we were meant to see Deja Vu and hey I can stand 120 minutes of Denzel. But he didn't prepurchase tix...

On another unrelated yet still cranky note, my most evil ex of all times sent me an email to say the he, the most inconsiderate, underhanded and hardened man on earth is getting married next year. On valentines to boot... I think I'm gonna vomit.

So here I am, my brain is packing and about to go home for Christmas holidays but my body is stuck here for two more weeks.. I hate Mondays.

On saving room ..

Okay, so I was convinced this thing with BJ was just a one off. A summer fling that was fun but nothing more. Sooooo why am I still thinking about him? All the time too. Well, first of all, we continue to chat all the time thanks to msn messenger. But now phone calls and emails have joined in the melee. *sigh*

Now he's talking about coming to visit. I was encouraging it until I realised he was serious. Shit. That's a pretty scary prospect. I mean, if I spend one more night in his arms, I may be reduced to a simmering pile of love mush. seriously. What do I tell all the other men I am dating? Suppose he comes and we realise we really shoulda left well enough alone?

Anyway, I have this warm feeling in my stomach when I think of him. It says don't be silly, when last did you feel like this? Clear your schedule.. Watch this space ...* Just a lil bit of love is worth a moment of our time... Let down your guard just a lil, I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine..* - J. Legend, Save Room

10 Things I Hate..

Okay so the proper meme was 20 things I hate but I am TRYING to be a more positive and loving person so here is my edited version:

1. Fake flowers: Unacceptable in any location but all the more in a beautiful caribbean island with fresh flora right outside your door. Don't like fake christmas trees either.. but I have learnt to accept them in the spirit of the season.
2. Slow-ass vehicles that do not stay in the left lane except when overtaking.
3. Ignorant moronic tourists who truly expect everything in the Third World to be, work and look like everything at home. Why travel then bozo?
4. The smell and taste of latex condoms.
5. Juice 'drinks'... TruJuice can conquer the world!!
6. Superfluous jewellry. Necklaces over clothes, anklets over strappy shoes. If your clothes have some feature at the wrist, ankle or neckline u don't need to wear jewellry on TOP of it.
7. Men who bad mouth and disrespect their wives, girlfriends or significant other.
8. Forwarded chain letters about faith, hope, love, luck and / or money.
9. When Christmas is shortened to Xmas. I'll not have it!! Take the time to write out C-H-R-I-S-T.
10. LIES. Of all sorts. Especially those told for no good reason.

The Chief. Part 2

The day after the speech dropping incident, I was summoned to the Chief's office. I drove over there in a cold sweat and by the time I arrived I was trembling. Seriously. I passed through the many security check points and then I was at his secretary's desk. 'Oh Ms. Spice.. Chief says to send you right in...' she said with a sickly sweet smile.

He sat at his desk reading the paper, drinking coffee and half watching CNN. He folded the paper and smiled at me. The questions came hard and fast.. like semi automatic rounds. How are you liking it here? What did you think of that policy? Can you believe the bad press we got on that matter? How is that proposal going? Where do you live? I hear they have beautiful sunsets there.. Can I come over for one? Red or white wine? I felt like a deer in the headlights. I knew I should run for my life but I just sat there. Awestruck. Dumbstruck.

I tried to answer some work related questions but he had long passed that station. He was steering into Grand Central. 'So when is a good time?' I cursed myself as I told him it was my birthday the next day. 'Oho. We have reason to celebrate then. Champagne it is.' My mind raced but my mouth stuck shut. 'Soo.. are you gonna.. ahm.. give me your number?' Still devoid of witty remarks or any semblance of my former self, I scrawled my digits in his leather bound executive diary.

'Okay Ms. Spice, you have a good day now' the saccharine secretary's voice trailed after me as I walked to my car in a stupor. I sat at the wheel for a few minutes. What the fc*k just happened?!?

On height challenges..

I am fairly tall. At 5'7" and sporting my favourite Dune 'cum-fc*k-me' pumps I am almost six feet. As a younger woman I summarily dismissed any men I met who were less than about 5'11". As I grew older and realised that good men are hard to find I let go of that silly prejudice. Kinda. Last night I found myself coordinating an entire outfit around a cute pair of flats because I was going on a date with a guy who is about 5'7". He has never made a comment about my height and in fact I had on said 4 inch heels when we met, but I just can't stop feeling like Amazon woman when I am towering over a guy.

Vapid or reasonable?? (as I pull on some sexy stilettos and head out the door with a 6'4" friend ;)

On 'carpe diem'..

Howdy folks. I have been and will be away from communication methods for a while. I hope there will be more exciting tales to tell soon. Meanwhile here is a quote from my new fave show:

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave till tomorrow, he said, that which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

- Meredith Grey, ABC's 'Grey's Anatomy'

Bueno Jr.

We met online. How very apropos and 21st century. The friend of a friend who needed information and professional advice on a project. So it started over business but ended up being daily idle msn messenger chatter. Sweet and engaging but certainly way too young for a second thought. Twice I was in his country and toyed with the idea of meeting up but I never did. Then, about six months later I traveled with our mutual friend who insisted we all link up.

So there I was half asleep in my hotel room when they walked in. I rolled over to greet them and our eyes made four and I think my heart stopped. There was something in his eyes that no online photo had captured. I was stunned. So we limed for the rest of that day, our friend now says we were both acting strange. Seems we didn't want to leave each others presence.

In a fit of passion, I went home with him that night and the next and following and the one after that. Delighted in the throws of an affair with a man 8 years my junior. On the fifth day, I had a minor operation. I didn't mention it to him and I had another friend take me back to my hotel to recover in peace. I missed a number of calls from him during the course of the day. That night I finally answered:

BJ: Where you been all day? What time should I come pick you up?

Me: I had a lil procedure today. I am drugged and in pain. No sex tonight. Call u when I am better, ok?

BJ: *silence*

Me: BJ, you hearing me? I going back to bed, ok?

BJ: Spice.. what do you think this is? Do you really think this is just about sex?!?

Me: ahm.. well.. um..

BJ: Listen. I will be there in 15 minutes. Go back and lie down. I will pack your stuff when I get there.

Me: ahm.. okay..

So he came, gathered me and my things, bundled us into his car and took me home. He made me dinner, he fed me, he bathed me, he brushed my hair and he held me in his arms until I fell asleep. I got up in the night in pain to find him awake and watching over me. Over the next few days I was barely conscious but each time I was he was there. I swear he absorbed my pain and fevers by curling his body around mine.

My last night there I managed to get myself dressed up and we went out to dinner. I looked across the table at him smiling at me and I felt warm to the core. Like a shot of brandy. He put his arm around me as we left and said 'I don't want this night to end. I don't want you to go home'. I blushed and smiled and kissed his beautiful mouth. I didn't want to leave either, but the next morning, I had to.

On my new ride..

I was in the airport and I saw all these pretty indigenous bird themed ads. When I looked closer I realised it was promo for Caribbean Airlines, the new er.. Caribbean Airline. I love the change, it gives me hope: that they will actually have a schedule and stick to it, that they will have decent food, that the seats and tray tables won't be icky ... I could go on but I won't outta some perverse loyalty to my current carrier, Bwee, in its last days. That said, I had a lovely tiramisu on the flight out of Miami last week.

Anyway, here is to something new come January 2007. So far Caribbean Star gets my vote for the best looking pilots, Tobago Express for the most delays and cancellations, BWIA and Air Jamaica tie for best in flight magazine and Air J again for best plane food tho that really is an oxymoron. Welcome to the fray Caribbean Airlines .. pity about the sucky drab name ..

On Love Thursdays and other stuff..

1. Love Thursdays: an idea I believe started by Chookooloonks. I've seen it on Abeni's site among others. Nice concept. I don't usually have anything to add but I love reading. There now is a whole site dedicated to this idea: Love is all around. Aside: If someone can tell me how to get the link attached to the pic you would make my day. For real.

2. The song 'Kingston Town' by UB40 seems to be following me around. I heard it in a store in Miami, at Shakers bar on Monday night and in the street outside my office jus now. Coincidence? I think not. I feel that some *magic* awaits me yes. A Trini friend insists that the song is really about Princes Town where he is from but the name was changed because of a federation related conspiracy ... hmm.. did I say 'friend'..

3. I have gone and fallen for the ABC series: Grey's Anatomy. I find myself rescheduling things and skipping gym in order to watch. Last week I literally ran thru the airport and sped on the highway to catch it. And to think its the 3rd season and I am still rushing home. Now thats love. It all started when Sex and the City ended brax and left me all alone. Desperate Housewives never did it for me.. bere hype.. but I started watching the show that came on after. Cristina and Preston are my favourite characters. Aint it great when u find a show u really get along with?

4. Speaking of Yang and Burke.. an interesting discussion on relationships, race and the related dramas started up over at Hottie's blog today. All from a photo of Halle Berry and her new guy who happens to be a white model. Gooders Girl had a post on a related matter. Were my brain not thoroughly spent by work and hard sums today I would contribute. For now I'm just reading...

Happy Love Thursday Folks!

The Chief. Part 1

He is my boss's boss. Hell, he is everybody's boss in this little corner of the world. I first met him three years ago. I was a part of a team that did a collaboration project with his company. We were in the middle of a meeting and he came into the room just to give official greetings. I could not concentrate for the rest of the afternoon.

Shortly thereafter, I got an offer I could not refuse with his organisation. On my first day, my CEO took me by the Chief's office for introductions. He was busy, he looked up at me and asked if I was related to a famous athlete. I did not even know who the athlete was but I tried to make a witty comeback. He dismissed me.

Months passed. I saw him only at official events. He always smiled and passed me by. I found him extremely attractive: handsome, smart, charming and allover um-um good. I googled him. I read his theories, speeches and presentations. I went to every function were he spoke.

One afternoon I went to a ceremony where he was giving a speech. I was late. He was already at the mike in the middle of one of his patented super suave oratories. Everyone hung on his words. The man can talk. There were no more seats so I stood. As he spoke he scanned the room, our eyes met and I tried to smile. He smiled, then stuttered and coughed. He dropped his papers.

I looked on in shock as he bent over to pick them up and knocked over the mike. A bunch of people sprang to his aid. He stood, paused for a moment and then coolly restarted his address. All of this was being broadcast live on TV and radio. He didn't look at me again for the rest of the presentation.

I wish my girlfriends had been there to tell me if I was imagining things. I stood at the back of the room with my cheeks hot for the next 45 minutes. When it was over I made a move towards the exit but the ushers and bodyguards blocked my way. I waited as they hustled to get him out of the building. 'Good afternoon Ms. Spice'. His hand was on my arm. I am certain my whole body flushed. Before I could think of a reply he was gone.

Fitr Saeed ..

Today is the Islamic holiday: Eid-Ul-Fitr. The message is all too important .. Eid Mubarak!

Celebrate the spirit of Mercy, Peace and Forgiveness..

Happy Diwali!

Today is Diwali: the Hindu Festival of Lights. Shubh Divali!!

May the Lights dispel darkness, evil and ignorance from the world..

Update: Dinner, Dancing and Dullness..

Thanks for the love blogosphere. Here is what's been going on:

1. Frenchmen's Foreplay was a blast. They really have the formula for a good time down pat. I heard some people complaining about the wait at the bar but I was on cloud 9... I went there for a good time and nothing was gonna stop me! Lots of yummy food, drink and people. This time me and the girls went ga-ga for Shaggy. I dunno if its that we havent seen him in awhile or what but he was looking good! Mr. Boombastic! Soon as I get my hands on a non-blurry photo, I'll post it. See y'all again New Years Day.

2. The Sultan did come to visit and in fact has been around alot over the past a few weeks. We had dinner a couple [okay 4] times and I was surprised how comfortable and happy our meetings [note I didn't say dates] turned out. Even though I consider him a friend, he still usually acts in a hardnosed bordering on stiff professional and I'm-the-boss-of-everyone manner. This time around tho he was truely like any one of my friends. We chatted, laughed and enjoyed each other for hours. Guess what? He has decided to relocate too. This from the man who was the main opposition to my move two years ago. So the story continues ..

3. Mr. Default Settings has been downgraded to Mr. Default. Ours has become an old and dull relationship of convenience, we lyme when neither of us has anything better to do. Well maybe .. A mutual friend is of the opinion that he is crazy about me but just shy. Why else would he spend so much money taking you to dinner? That my friend's reasoning cause he claims only invests in a girl when he expects returns. Yep, I have cavemen for friends. Whatever his story, Default is precariously close to falling into the category of 'just friends'. I think. Hmmm..

4. It's official. I need a vacation. Not a weekend in Jamaica partying. Not a 36 hour stopover in New York with per diem. [tho I aint complaining about those!] I need a blue sky holiday.. more than 2 days of lying around doing nothing at all work-related. Preferrably with .. okay, I won't go overboard. :) Gone to bed. I am tired. Goodnight.

On my yoga flop..

I found this account of my first attempt at yoga 3 years ago. I have calmed down since:

okay so, my shrink suggested that i try yoga to calm my nerves as well as tone my muscles.. hmmm.. so this afternoon i left work and rushed to the yoga studio (?? what DO you call that place?) where soft tranquil music was playing..and everyone was already lying around on the floor. there was a big sign that said 'maintain silence before class'... so i wondered around till i found a bathroom to change and besides all that river /waterfall music made me wanna pee..

so i changed into 'comfortable' clothes as i had been instructed to bring from an earlier phone call.. and prepared for 2 hours of calm and relaxation.. i went into the studio and put down my towel and breathed deeply.. and instantly choked on some incense that was burning in the corner .. this thoroughly disrupted the mediatants (?) all around who gave me disdainful looks.. then class started without warning and everyone started snorting thru their alternate nostrils 16 times.. WHAT THA .....!!??

i tried to be calm but my toes kept twitching and my alternate ears were itching and.. anyway the teacher gave me two sideways glances and i sat still... in 'sashimi' pose ????... er.. this was gonna be a long 2 hours.. my watch clinked as i turned my hand to see what time it was.. erp.. are yogi's allowed to wear watches?? what is the true meaning of time anyway?? ...hmm.. is 'sex and the city' on tonight? i wonder..

oh oh.. only 10 minutes of class gone.. that leaves 110 more.. aww geez.. this is supposed to be calming?? i feel like i am in detention.... erp.. while i had my eyes closed and was pondering my inner beast, everyone changed position... okay..almost 20 minutes... hear what .. thats it.. with one 'soft fluid motion, while maintaining the flow of oxygen to my brain and concentrating on my true inner balance'.. i whipped up my towel off the floor and bolted thru the door..

"let me blow your mind" by eve and gwen stefani was on the radio .. i turned it full blast, rolled down the windows and tore thru the streets.. YAY!! FREEDOM!! NOISE!! LIFE!! YAY!! i reached home with my heart racing.. turned on all the radio's and tv's in the house, ran up and down the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs.. then i did a complete aerobics workout (i used to be an instructor) lunges, spiderwalks and all.. broke a good sweat and probably burst a blood vessel...
now i feel soooooo much better :)

have a good day y'all.. and remember.. SAY NO TO YOGA!!

On Island Spice. Part 2..

For those who saw it, my very first post was an introduction. More to the blog than me. So now that I actually have people reading this thing .. I'd like to introduce myself properly..

Hi, I am Island Spice [*hello Island Spice* say the blogaholics anonymous], I was born in the Spice Island, Grenada, to a Jamaican mother and a Trinidadian father. I am a mix of most of everything except Chinese. [Injections pending]. I have lived in Jamaica, Trinidad, England, Italy, Grenada and St. Kitts. I have no real abiding city right now because of my work but I am considering staying awhile in Port-Of-Spain. I am also pondering moving to London, Hong Kong or Dubai so we will see..

So I started this blog on the spurring of some friends who think my dating career is hilarious, horrific and generally entertaining. I reviewed what I have written over the past month or so and it seems stiff and disjointed. I know I aint in my groove yet folks but stick with me, I hope to get there.. eventually! Now that I am writing more, I feel like talking about things other than just the men I date ... so I intend to stray..

Part of my work is Tourism and besides it being my job, I am truely fascinated by the beauty, life and happenings in the Caribbean. So I will write about that too. According to one of my ex's, I have an opinion and a story about every blasted thing! If anyone has ideas, questions or polite criticisms feel free to send them to islandspiceblogger@gmail.com . I still don't plan to get into major political discourse [other than to encourage everyone to vote!] because I really do too much of that at work. This is my escape ...

Thanks for sharing in my world! Cybermartini's all around!

Cheers!
PS. Names remain changed to protect the innocent, the chupid and the litigious...

The Young Guns

I am frustrated. I spent the better part of today comforting a very sweet young man I know. Yeah, I like 'em young too.. only thing is that is often accompanied by foolish. So this particular young man, call him Junior, is about 22 and we are fairly good friends. He used to intern with me in the summer.

JR usually calls me about once a week to chat shit and tell me of the latest on the party scene. I enjoy his stories, jokes and company. Today he called to tell me that last night, his brother got shot. In the chest, outside his home. He is alive but in serious condition. They had just finished playing some ball and were heading inside for dinner when a car drove up, someone pulled a gun and fired.

Now Junior does not live in the ghetto, far from it, he lives in a nice townhouse complex in a desired neighbourhood. His suburban housewife mother is in shock. Me? Not so much. I know more Juniors / JR's as well as seniors than I can count. Heckler & Koch, Beretta, Glock, Rugar and company have made a home amongst us.

When I reached out to hug him, I felt a bulge in his waist. I knew he wasn't that happy to see me. I gave him the look. A slight frown. He gave me the nod. A handsome smirk. A wink. Cocky lil bugger. That was the last time I saw JR alive. I spilt my morning coffee in my lap when I heard he was dead. Killed on the sidewalk outside my New Kingston office. Outside the club. In a party crowd. Relaxing out back. Playing ball. In a flash. Just like that.

Why? Why? Why would a fine young man take or attempt to take the life of another fine young man? The explanations don't equal excuses. Music, alcohol, fights, girls, knives, attitude and guns. Live by it, die by it. This situation breaks my heart. As I said to Junior repeatedly today: 'When will it end? When we are all dead?' Bed's made, now lie in it. Reprisals are being plotted as I type. When will it end??

On Foreplay this weekend ..

For anyone who didn't know, the Frenchmen in Jamaica host some of the best ultra all inclusives in the region. They have three major fetes each year: Foreplay on Hero's Weekend in October, Climaxx on New Years Day and Afterglow on [Jamaica] Carnival Saturday.

Foreplay, the 'hero' of beach parties is this weekend in the resort town of Ocho Rios. The fete used to be held at the famous Frenchman's Cove in Portland and I hear that may even be the root of the promoters’ name. For the past 2 years however, the dance has been relocated to Reggae Beach in Ocho Rios. I think this is due to this venue being closer to Kingston as well as having more available accommodation, parking and general facilities.

The Frenchmen know how to put on a fete: there is endless food, drink and music. Foreplay has the added delight of a beautiful beach where they throw in catamaran rides, body painting, massages and other entertainment. This is no jokey food either, no corn soup.. I talking shrimp, beef, pork, fish, pizza, cheesecakes, Haagen Dazs sorbet.. yuh hear me! Last year I started my afternoon eatings with a smoked marlin salad.

Foreplay is the place to see the beautiful people and personalities from all over the Caribbean: athletes, musicians, politicians etc. I was all excited to see Sean Paul but I noticed that no one else in the crowd seemed star struck. Did I mention the complimentary Havaianas slippers? Don't worry about the weather forecast either, last year there were thousands partying while the 'outer bands' of Hurricane Wilma drenched us. In fact the rain seems to make it all the better. I kid you not.

On my last trip across to Foreplay, I met numerous Jamaicans, Trinis, Bajans and one Guyanese guy on their way. Even the BWIA pilot mentioned that he was going too... This is one not to miss. See allyuh there!

PS. Don't miss 'Nite Cap' the set-up party... Wear your pajamas to the beach!

The One Hit Wonder

We met at a party. We danced. He asked for my number. I shyly gave it to him. I gave him one last smile as I departed. I was genuinely thrilled when my phone rang two days later.. We chatted, we arranged to meet and chat some more on the following weekend. I hung up expectant. The next day he surprisingly called again. He had two tickets to a foreign film festival on Friday, did I want to go? Sure. He would pick me up at seven. He was on time. I liked that. He looked even finer the second time around. I liked that even more. He was affectionate. He was a gentleman, street and book smart and, did I mention fine? He introduced me to his brother and his boys. Nice. We went clubbing after. He put a wine on me. Mmm mmm good. We left early. We held hands. We talked in the moonlight. At my door he held my body to his, and kissed my cheek. I floated to my bed. Visions of sugarplums danced in my head.

About three days later I started picking up my phone and looking at it to see if it was working. Three more days and a weekend later the reality set in. I had run thru the gamut of excuses in my head and settled on the facts: There would be no follow-up hits. What tha........? I tried to remember if there was any negative vibe that I had somehow missed. A look, comment ... I am still drawing a blank. Now I look forward to the next time I see him in the street. I will smile, greet him sweetly and move on. Convincing myself that it's completely his loss.

On my funeral (Meme)..

My first meme.. I have been tagged by Christina. Five Songs I want played at my funeral.

1. For my family and friends in the church: Sing A New Song : lively and yet appropriate
2. For the significant other that I sincerely hope I have before I die: Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry.
3. For my country: Don't Cry for me, Argentina from the musical Evita: Always had fantasies of bidding my followers farewell from the balcony of the Casa Rosada..
4. For my fellow masqueraders at the next Carnival: High Mas by David Rudder: Remember me at the start of the festivites ..
5. For everyone: A special Jazzy T remix of Third World's Try Jah Love and Master Blaster by Stevie Wonder: the ultimate freedom song .. may you all be ecstatic and jammin till the break of dawn...

While we are on the topic, I would also like:
1. Music. Lots of it. A full steel band. All-Stars or Phase II, must play Bruce Hornsby's 'That’s the way it is' like how the Caribscope show used to start.. and that dread guy from Stella Maris to play the trumpet.
2. Happiness. *Cheerful colours please* as well as a memento photo of me in a bikini on Negril beach or in a Carnival costume on Ariapita Avenue.
3. Food. lots of spicy and delicious finger treats .. samosa's, sui mai, rum balls..
4. Cocktails. Mai Tai's, Daiquiris and Pina Colada's..
5. Kindness. I want donations to children’s homes that must made in kind and in person.

What's up with the morbidity? I tag Gela and CoolDestiny who were relishing other deathly topics last week.
PS. Lex, I didn't realise I had been tagged when I saw your book one. Promise to do it next!

On hi-tech dating..

Technology has made dating too impersonal and rushed. I'm a fine one to talk yes, as I sit in an airport lounge blogging via wireless card on my laptop and hoping Mr. Default Settings calls on my roaming Digicel mobile before I have to board. :)

But seriously, instant gratification is taking over like the plague. I met a guy in Grenada the other day, we didn't get an opportunity to speak much but we exchanged business cards when I was leaving. He took the card, checked for my email address, asked if the cell number on the card roams and then said 'I'll google you'.

Call me old fashioned but that comment did not warm my heart one iota. As soon as I could, I googled myself. I was shocked at how much stuff came up: newspaper articles, university group activities, even photos on work related websites and comments about me on peoples blogs!! I skimmed over all this information that he would probably find and felt misrepresented.

Nothing there to say if I eat olives on my pizza, what I sing in the shower or if I am kind to animals. Would this be useful data to help speed up the whole getting-to-know-you phase? What ever happened to walks on the beach, handwritten love notes and courting each other slowly...?

Anyways, I gone send Default a quick email yes, his blackberry probably on silent cause he's in a meeting.... ;)

On new US passport requirements..

I promised myself no work related posts (except my o-so-subtle plugs) on this blog but today I changed my mind. Hell, its a woman's perorgative innit? Here are two articles detailing how we are being put in order by Uncle Sam yet again. Apparently this may be in response to Chavez's 'stinky devil' comments:

International Herald Tribune: Caribbean Criticises Change
Jamaica Observer: US Drops Tourism Bombshell

I don't have any details on the reactions of the various islands affected but I am sure we will all be bending over backwards in an attempt to appease the US government in the morning. Lucky TT, no need to cling to tourist dollars when you have oil and natural gas..

The Bipolar Mr. Clean

We met at a networking party. I actually knew him from before through work but had never spoken on a social level. So on this night he somehow got my number amidst all the card swapping and other such frivolity. Our first date went very well, he was endearingly warm and charming. He obviously knew of my love for golf because he took me to a lyme by the clubhouse. He was great fun and I agreed to see him again. The second date involved some of his friends and was at the Haagen Dazs cafe. Nice. He started talking about a jazz festival a few months later, at which time I mentioned that I was considering moving to another island and might not be around. For a minute there was angry looking flicker on his face but that passed.

Over the following weeks we became an item. of sorts. I guess. From early tho, I noticed some bad mood swings. He was the life of the party one day and a kind of snarky grinch the next. A friend said she heard he was manic-depressive, so I started tracking his mood swings. He was 'up' most of the time, but would have awful dark periods for about a week. During these down days he would tell me stories of how he was banished to live with his grandparents as a child, that his mom hates him and even that he was really the illegitimate child of the Prime Minister. WTF!?!? And those were the good days, on really bad days he would quarrel with, insult and belittle anyone in his path. Ugly.

So one day a few weeks before I was scheduled to leave, I was home packing boxes and he came over with chinese takeout to lyme. When he entered and saw the place filled with boxes he got all agitated, made an excuse and left. A few days later he called to say he had a gift for me. He came over with a bath mat set. *perplex* not only was that the tackiest gift EVER, surely he didn't mean for me to take it with me as my boxes had already been shipped. A few more days later he came over with a carpenter, a plan to build a bar on my patio and a set of handblown martini glasses. That's when I had to sit him down and say 'I am really leaving, the gifts are appreciated but I have no use for them.' then I made the mistake of suggesting he needed counselling. He blew up and stormed out the house.

During my last days before moving I was partying and lyming alot. I saw him many places I went and he didn't speak to me. Not only did he not speak to me, he made a point of greeting my friends and turning his nose up at me. Once I said goodnight and got a 'I'm not trying to hear that!' response. When I was in the plane on my departure day I got a text 'I will always be here but you have some things you need to work out before there can be an us'. Well you know what they say about he who laughs last ...

Lesson Learnt: Crazy is what crazy do. Sometimes its really not my problem. I been home since, seen him and he continues to ignore me.

On anti-social behaviour..

I don't feel like partying, socialising or even lyming today. I came back in the country late last night, I am drained from travelling and I feel like lying around and doing nothing. I mean it: NOTHING. No ole talk, no mascara, no shoes, no blogging even *gasp*.. okay .. jus kidding on that last one. Playing with my layout, anyone who has opinion on it feel free to comment. Never did understand why blogs only take up 1/3 of the page..

This week promises to be a hectic one and I need to store some energy for it. So pardon me while I put up my socks and pyjama'ed feet and eat haagen dazs out the container ... who to blog about next boi...?

A visit from the Sultan ..

After months of no contact, I got an email from The Sultan today. He says he has some business to conduct in my neck of the woods in 2 weeks time; can we have dinner? I replied that it would be great to see him but I won't be in the country at that time. A few hours later I got a phone call .. 'So how about this weekend?'...

On Goddess and Defenders...

Today I am dealing with a whole new type of heartache. I am a card carrying supporter of Tribe and I had a time with them on the road in the past. Earlier this year my crew was considering switching to Island People Mas but then there was the whole bacchanal of the registration process. (If you don't read Saucy's Carnival Diary you living under a big ole rock). Anyway, we signed up with Tribe and I am playing Dragon [beside Ms. Hottie Hottie] .. a sexy skimpy costume..

But I have a confession to make. I am guilty of severely coveting my neighbours carnival costume.... I missed the IP band launch because Hurricane Ernesto stuck me in Jamaica but my first lusty tinglings came when I saw the lil calendars they gave out. I was barely prepared for the astounding photo's Saucy unleashed on us one night. One look and I was a goner.

Goddess and Defenders has evoked in me the kind of emotion I suppose mas band owners wish for. As much as I have tried to deny it - I have been dreaming about this costume. I have even pondered becoming that mythical idiot called a Two Band H.O. Despite my good sense and my bankbook: I want to be on the streets of Port of Spain in this come February 2007. Take a look and maybe you can understand:

........................

On Older Men..

The top 5 things I look for in an older man:
1. He can't be older than my dad. A silly rule yes and likely to be overturned. For awhile I wouldn't date guys taller than my dad.. but hey, Daddy will always be the standard by which men are measured.
2. He ought not be single. Not married either but he should be divorced or at least provide evidence of some significant past relationship. 'broken in'. You don't want a Hugh Hefner now.
3. He should be successful. I mean .. If at 50+ he is still trying to decide what he wants to be when he grows up, its probably a lost case. Besides, I would like to look up to him.
4. He should play golf. He should excercise in some way but I like Golf. It really is a gentleman's game. Golf, like me, requires patience.
5. He must be kind. All kinds of kind too: kind-hearted, kind to others, kinda fun, kinda open minded about younger women. Some older guys have a kinda bitter vibe. No to angry baggage.

The Disadvantages of Older Men:
1. Low sex drive. Viagra jokes aside; One guy used to be able to do it only once per week and the rest of the time he would make embarassed excuses. Until we came to a compromise. :)
2. Different social circles. There have been times I wished I could wuk up at a party, or just shoot the breeze with some xbox.
3. They are uncool. Some things your friends are on about may be greek to him: blogging, Grey's Anatomy, Tribe vs. Island People, Sean Paul's dancing ...
4. They enjoy the finer things in life. That means you may not agree on some simple cheapy pleasures like roadside dining, discount travel and shopping.
5. They are Gentlemen. If you have a thing for bad boys this aint the bud for you.

The Advantages of Older Men:
1. They are Gentlemen. They have treating you like a queen down pat. Whats not to love?
2. They enjoy the finer things in life: good food, good wine, good art, good music, ME! Enjoy it and learn from it.
3. They are uncool. Which of itself is cool. Christophers Jazz Bar instead of the upstairs in da club. Opens your mind to a whole new world of things. Cool!!
4. Different social circles. Again an oppertunity experience new things and new people. Also, he probably wont be put off by your career goals and/or success.
5. Low sex drive. This aint all bad. No marathon sessions that leave you sore. Makes them try harder to please you. You are a queen, remember?

Of course there are a whole lot of other issues worth considering but all relationships are about 2 people working it out. So try it, you might like it. ;)

On relaxing this weekend..

For once, I am going to try to be in Trinidad for a holiday weekend. I been missing every good lyme with all this travelling. So Republic Day is Sunday and there is a public holiday on the Monday. I wiggled my way out of going to Curacao and into a Beach House fete ticket. I have a date with Mr Default Settings... Need to find a cute outfit. Looking forward to a nice time...

Mr. Man

We met in the lobby of a [not-so] 'Jolly' Hotel in Antigua. We were both catching the shuttle to a wedding. I remember him because he was the only other single person there. I thought you were supposed to meet lots of singles at weddings?? Anyway.. that is for another post.

About a week later I saw him in church, he stayed back after the crowd to greet me. On that occasion I remember thinking, 'my he must work out' and feeling immediately guilty as he was much older than me and we were still in the house of the Lord. A few days later, I bounced into him at the supermarket. Just as I was starting to think it must be a sign, he asked me out to dinner.

He was 23 years older than me. He was divorced. He liked good food.. and me! We got along great and after about four fabulous dinners, one night he kissed me. Just so. As if he had done it everyday before.

Now I am a finnicky person yes, and I had been studying him to see if there was just one little thing I didn't like that would turn me off. Nose hairs, long fingernails, stale geriatric breath, etc etc but nothing. He was always very well groomed, nice smelling and, well, his kisses were sweet. So much for my theory about old[er] men. This kissing and stuff continued for a while until one day I was by his house picking up something for him, I was talking to him on my mobile:

Me: "you didn't tell me where to find the keys bredrin"

Him: "they are on the table. and I am NOT your bredrin.. I am your MAN."

Me: **silence**

The first time I was ever stunned into a relationship. I had to take a lie down on his bed.

All in all, it turned out well. Great even. Most of the time...

He took my decision to move to another country quite well [in comparison to some others. soon give you that story] and even toyed with the idea of expanding his business into some other islands as an excuse to see me more often.

We keep in touch. Alot.

On Alpha Males..

I read an article online today about Alpha Males .. among other things it said that they cheat because they think it is their divine right as a 'leader' to have any woman they want. *ugh* The article was analysing why supposedly smart men like Clinton and Major would have affairs that they knew could potentially ruin their Alpha status. The simple conclusion - because they can. To be Alpha you gotta live Alpha. No hesitation, no consultation and certainly no regrets.. unless, of course, you get caught. Beta's usually forgive tho..

And I thought of all the women who are so deathly attracted to these Alpha males. Used to be they were all underlings: secretaries, interns and the like .. but nowadays the Alphas are getting demanding: former international beauty pagent winners with law degrees are standard fare.

I have often been called an Alpha female and with good reason too.. but I must admit to having fallen for the wiles of a few Alpha males in my time. I think it starts with admiration for me.... but it usually ends with too much ego consuming the air in the room. An Alpha was once giving me a whole speech on the top 10 reasons why I should be his mistress [go ahead, laugh out loud] and he ended with: 'besides, I deserve it'. **insert 21 gun salute***

Now, how do ya like them apples??

The Cowardly Lion

We met in a club. It was a group and he barely made an impression. We met again in another club; he seemed slick and lecherous. Proof that you should always go with your gut. He made a mild pass at me, I politely declined. Then I found out that he was the senior of a guy I was dating, a fact which seemed to irk him seriously. Then I had the further misfortune of encountering CL in a work related environment. He took the opportunity to goad and I suppose attempt to belittle me. He did not limit this to his interaction with me but went on to say untrue and unflattering things about me and my qualifications in public. As if he didn't think I would hear what he had to say about me, he proceeded to hit on me, AGAIN, in the presence of the guy I was dating. Anyway, I guess I should be grateful because CL helped me realise what a wuss my date was. Have been so blessed as to not see him in awhile, however, the world is small, I am sure we will buck up again... and somehow I don't expect that he will have grown up.
Lessons Learnt: Never underestimate the power of bad mind. The fox who can't reach the grapes says they are sour.

The Wallaby Prince

We met in the first class lounge at London Heathrow. I saw him when I entered and thought to myself that he looked better in real life than in the press. I was standing by a magazine rack when he came and stood by me. As I browsed I heard him say something like 'So, you on the Jamaica flight too?' I continued reading until I realised that no one had answered him. I looked up and realised that he was talking to me. HHAHAHAHHAHAH.
We became fast friends, chatting in the lounge and onto the plane. On board he somehow figured out how to move to the seat beside me. We chatted more, he told me bedtime stories to help me sleep. He got me tea. Generally attentive and very surprising to me.
So I was even more surprised when we landed and he continued to call and see me. I can't say I was like really attracted to him but I was drawn by what a cool person he is. I guess in my mind I figured he was just having a lil fun with me and would soon go back to his 'appropriate' type.
Well wouldn't you know that this crazy prince ended up marrying a very 'inappropriate' girl a few years later!! Gave up everything for her. A fabulous story, ent? I missed my chance to star in that epic.. but I am so very very happy for them!
Lessons Learnt: Love really does conquer all. Wow. Who knew? :)

On Jean..

I have spent some time trying to pick out an image to put in my profile. This is a photo from my Trinidad Carnival Band, Tribe's offerings for 2007. This is from 'Jean and Dinah' a Peter Elias private section. It is Jean and the American sailors. I just love it! Not only do I like the outfit, I love the adoring male counterparts. I am not playing in this section but I am still loving it. So thats it for now.

Mr. Default Settings

We met at a barbeque and dominoes session of a common friend. He was very low-key, in fact I only noticed him because he was a new face and he had a foreign accent plus he was checking me out ;). Anyway, it didn't take long to find out that he was yet another CSME mover and shaker who had recently relocated.. so I offered to help out in his settling in. [Not that I even live in the country mind you.. HAHAHA]. He seemed kinda shy in the face of my bold 'nuffness' .. but it was endearing.

As fate would have it, I spent the next couple of weeks travelling everywhere else. He did keep in touch tho, thank goodness for Digicel - roam like your home!! When next I passed thru he was in the process of moving into a lovely townhouse in one of those ex-pat communities. Well, yuh know this lil lady done watched one too many shows on HGTV.. I was on it like white on rice. He seemed to really appreciate it tho and his place is looking great.

Since then we been seeing each other fairly regularly.. He calls often for us to have dinner and a chat. He is about my age but really works too hard. Bit of a Mogul-in-Training yes. His blackberry rings constantly and it seems to always be work related. He also seems to be wound up and stressed most of the time. Steeeuuups! I have been there, done that and got the baby tee. Maybe I can help. Keep y'all posted ...

The Sultan

We met in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton. We were both attending an investor's forum for a new upscale tourism product. He is a renowned local boy turned international mogul: Billionaires Boys Club. I had seen him the day before in the common sessions but had not met him. I was intensely fascinated by his projected power, wealth, business acumen and of course the very very suave Armani suited package it was all wrapped up in.
The second morning, I was up early to try to get a head start on my day and he apparently was up playing his daily tennis. He was rather chipper and merry; a stark contrast to my not-a-morning-person gloom. He was efficient and polite in his greeting, I'd even say he transferred his confidence through his handshake. I was hooked. Easy as that.
We met many times over the course of the next few months, I can't quite recall what the excuse was. Then he started talking more than shop and I realised that somehow I had captured the attention of this much desired and admired man. I think the main root of this interest was the fact that unlike most people I neither fawned over him nor kissed his ass. Maybe he wanted to know why..

Anyway, again years have passed and our friendship has been cemented. Over time he has always been lightly flirtatious with me but he has never ever hit on me or made any moves at all. But hey.. he does have a fairly famous though slight trophy wife. The day I told him I had decided to take up a consultancy that would relocate me to another island was the first time I saw him kinda unnerved. He tried to quash the idea with an authority I suppose usually works on others.. but I had to remind him that he aint my boss or my man and my mind was made up.

Somehow I don't think this story has ended yet ..

Lessons Learnt: Every single encounter with the Sultan was a life lesson. As soon as I find the words to articulate them, I will write it down.

On Island Spice ...

Hello Folks! For a long time I have been harassed by friends to write my memoirs. Seems at bit silly to me because I am still RATHER young and I am sure life has much more to show me. None-the-less, I have had an interesting and eventful life to date. Maybe I should write some of it down before I forget. I believe that life is what you make it and I make sure mine is great!!

Okay, so here is the deal: I am going to use this blog to record some of my experiences - mainly man and relationships related but also just about anything that pops into my head. Don't expect any deep philosophical musings or up-to-the-time political commentary: I do enough of that at work! Don't study the dates on the posts because some of these episodes took place in the distant past. Also, its my blog so I reserve the right to embellish the stories as I wish and besides I have a horrid memory so some of the blanks will be filled in with my wild imaginings. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the chupid and the litigious.