okay so, my shrink suggested that i try yoga to calm my nerves as well as tone my muscles.. hmmm.. so this afternoon i left work and rushed to the yoga studio (?? what DO you call that place?) where soft tranquil music was playing..and everyone was already lying around on the floor. there was a big sign that said 'maintain silence before class'... so i wondered around till i found a bathroom to change and besides all that river /waterfall music made me wanna pee..
so i changed into 'comfortable' clothes as i had been instructed to bring from an earlier phone call.. and prepared for 2 hours of calm and relaxation.. i went into the studio and put down my towel and breathed deeply.. and instantly choked on some incense that was burning in the corner .. this thoroughly disrupted the mediatants (?) all around who gave me disdainful looks.. then class started without warning and everyone started snorting thru their alternate nostrils 16 times.. WHAT THA .....!!??
i tried to be calm but my toes kept twitching and my alternate ears were itching and.. anyway the teacher gave me two sideways glances and i sat still... in 'sashimi' pose ????... er.. this was gonna be a long 2 hours.. my watch clinked as i turned my hand to see what time it was.. erp.. are yogi's allowed to wear watches?? what is the true meaning of time anyway?? ...hmm.. is 'sex and the city' on tonight? i wonder..
oh oh.. only 10 minutes of class gone.. that leaves 110 more.. aww geez.. this is supposed to be calming?? i feel like i am in detention.... erp.. while i had my eyes closed and was pondering my inner beast, everyone changed position... okay..almost 20 minutes... hear what .. thats it.. with one 'soft fluid motion, while maintaining the flow of oxygen to my brain and concentrating on my true inner balance'.. i whipped up my towel off the floor and bolted thru the door..
"let me blow your mind" by eve and gwen stefani was on the radio .. i turned it full blast, rolled down the windows and tore thru the streets.. YAY!! FREEDOM!! NOISE!! LIFE!! YAY!! i reached home with my heart racing.. turned on all the radio's and tv's in the house, ran up and down the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs.. then i did a complete aerobics workout (i used to be an instructor) lunges, spiderwalks and all.. broke a good sweat and probably burst a blood vessel...
now i feel soooooo much better :)
have a good day y'all.. and remember.. SAY NO TO YOGA!!
so i changed into 'comfortable' clothes as i had been instructed to bring from an earlier phone call.. and prepared for 2 hours of calm and relaxation.. i went into the studio and put down my towel and breathed deeply.. and instantly choked on some incense that was burning in the corner .. this thoroughly disrupted the mediatants (?) all around who gave me disdainful looks.. then class started without warning and everyone started snorting thru their alternate nostrils 16 times.. WHAT THA .....!!??
i tried to be calm but my toes kept twitching and my alternate ears were itching and.. anyway the teacher gave me two sideways glances and i sat still... in 'sashimi' pose ????... er.. this was gonna be a long 2 hours.. my watch clinked as i turned my hand to see what time it was.. erp.. are yogi's allowed to wear watches?? what is the true meaning of time anyway?? ...hmm.. is 'sex and the city' on tonight? i wonder..
oh oh.. only 10 minutes of class gone.. that leaves 110 more.. aww geez.. this is supposed to be calming?? i feel like i am in detention.... erp.. while i had my eyes closed and was pondering my inner beast, everyone changed position... okay..almost 20 minutes... hear what .. thats it.. with one 'soft fluid motion, while maintaining the flow of oxygen to my brain and concentrating on my true inner balance'.. i whipped up my towel off the floor and bolted thru the door..
"let me blow your mind" by eve and gwen stefani was on the radio .. i turned it full blast, rolled down the windows and tore thru the streets.. YAY!! FREEDOM!! NOISE!! LIFE!! YAY!! i reached home with my heart racing.. turned on all the radio's and tv's in the house, ran up and down the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs.. then i did a complete aerobics workout (i used to be an instructor) lunges, spiderwalks and all.. broke a good sweat and probably burst a blood vessel...
now i feel soooooo much better :)
have a good day y'all.. and remember.. SAY NO TO YOGA!!
13 comments:
LOL! Not able with THAT sh!t
Everytime some one tells me to meditate I tend to fall asleep and snore loud. I've tried Pilates, which I must say is way harder than it looks. Right now I take Tae Kwan Do, and I love having someone yell at me in cutesy Korean Accents....
Can't you just eat chocolate instead? We're talking inner peace here..
Always knew yoga was crap. Inner peace is overrated anyway.
That's hilarious!! Silence really bugs me sometimes too. I get the urge to just run through the library screaming at the top of my lungs.
You're fire, lady. No sense in trying to snuff that out.
Yeah! What you said!
Den dey start to ben' up and contort all kinda ways, and expect yu fi stan' on ur head to!!
Den, when u haffa meditate, and assume the lotus position, how u 'spose to know when to switch?? I did fall asleep!
Hey, thanks for visiting my blog!
If U had in earphones wid your favourite music, it mighta been better, but mi noh blame yu, if it drives U nuts, then lef' dem. Still, what if there were a transcendental experience right 'round de corner, waitin' 2 B enjoyed just 2 seconds after U left?!
Almost a year ago I acquired a yoga DVD popped it in during class to see the basics and since then have done nothing more with it, now it looks like I should never touch it again
I don't need yoga. I know how to relax, but I still wanna try it just for fun.
Haha, hey Spice, you're a trip. hehe.
Hey folks .. I am actually now a big fan of yoga. Still dunno about that inner peace tho..
Welcome MQ and Melanie!
Thank you for your blog! Even if you've changed your mind now, it's nice to know I'm not the only one driven nuts by yoga. A friend of mine insists I just haven't found the right instructor. When I said it wasn't for me, she said I had a closed mind and that shutting her down wasn't very nice. ?!?! This is very atypical of my friend. I can't understand why she talks about yoga like it's a religion. I have another yoga-focused friend who talks the same way. Can someone tell me why?
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