A visit from the Sultan ..

After months of no contact, I got an email from The Sultan today. He says he has some business to conduct in my neck of the woods in 2 weeks time; can we have dinner? I replied that it would be great to see him but I won't be in the country at that time. A few hours later I got a phone call .. 'So how about this weekend?'...

On Goddess and Defenders...

Today I am dealing with a whole new type of heartache. I am a card carrying supporter of Tribe and I had a time with them on the road in the past. Earlier this year my crew was considering switching to Island People Mas but then there was the whole bacchanal of the registration process. (If you don't read Saucy's Carnival Diary you living under a big ole rock). Anyway, we signed up with Tribe and I am playing Dragon [beside Ms. Hottie Hottie] .. a sexy skimpy costume..

But I have a confession to make. I am guilty of severely coveting my neighbours carnival costume.... I missed the IP band launch because Hurricane Ernesto stuck me in Jamaica but my first lusty tinglings came when I saw the lil calendars they gave out. I was barely prepared for the astounding photo's Saucy unleashed on us one night. One look and I was a goner.

Goddess and Defenders has evoked in me the kind of emotion I suppose mas band owners wish for. As much as I have tried to deny it - I have been dreaming about this costume. I have even pondered becoming that mythical idiot called a Two Band H.O. Despite my good sense and my bankbook: I want to be on the streets of Port of Spain in this come February 2007. Take a look and maybe you can understand:

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On Older Men..

The top 5 things I look for in an older man:
1. He can't be older than my dad. A silly rule yes and likely to be overturned. For awhile I wouldn't date guys taller than my dad.. but hey, Daddy will always be the standard by which men are measured.
2. He ought not be single. Not married either but he should be divorced or at least provide evidence of some significant past relationship. 'broken in'. You don't want a Hugh Hefner now.
3. He should be successful. I mean .. If at 50+ he is still trying to decide what he wants to be when he grows up, its probably a lost case. Besides, I would like to look up to him.
4. He should play golf. He should excercise in some way but I like Golf. It really is a gentleman's game. Golf, like me, requires patience.
5. He must be kind. All kinds of kind too: kind-hearted, kind to others, kinda fun, kinda open minded about younger women. Some older guys have a kinda bitter vibe. No to angry baggage.

The Disadvantages of Older Men:
1. Low sex drive. Viagra jokes aside; One guy used to be able to do it only once per week and the rest of the time he would make embarassed excuses. Until we came to a compromise. :)
2. Different social circles. There have been times I wished I could wuk up at a party, or just shoot the breeze with some xbox.
3. They are uncool. Some things your friends are on about may be greek to him: blogging, Grey's Anatomy, Tribe vs. Island People, Sean Paul's dancing ...
4. They enjoy the finer things in life. That means you may not agree on some simple cheapy pleasures like roadside dining, discount travel and shopping.
5. They are Gentlemen. If you have a thing for bad boys this aint the bud for you.

The Advantages of Older Men:
1. They are Gentlemen. They have treating you like a queen down pat. Whats not to love?
2. They enjoy the finer things in life: good food, good wine, good art, good music, ME! Enjoy it and learn from it.
3. They are uncool. Which of itself is cool. Christophers Jazz Bar instead of the upstairs in da club. Opens your mind to a whole new world of things. Cool!!
4. Different social circles. Again an oppertunity experience new things and new people. Also, he probably wont be put off by your career goals and/or success.
5. Low sex drive. This aint all bad. No marathon sessions that leave you sore. Makes them try harder to please you. You are a queen, remember?

Of course there are a whole lot of other issues worth considering but all relationships are about 2 people working it out. So try it, you might like it. ;)

On relaxing this weekend..

For once, I am going to try to be in Trinidad for a holiday weekend. I been missing every good lyme with all this travelling. So Republic Day is Sunday and there is a public holiday on the Monday. I wiggled my way out of going to Curacao and into a Beach House fete ticket. I have a date with Mr Default Settings... Need to find a cute outfit. Looking forward to a nice time...

Mr. Man

We met in the lobby of a [not-so] 'Jolly' Hotel in Antigua. We were both catching the shuttle to a wedding. I remember him because he was the only other single person there. I thought you were supposed to meet lots of singles at weddings?? Anyway.. that is for another post.

About a week later I saw him in church, he stayed back after the crowd to greet me. On that occasion I remember thinking, 'my he must work out' and feeling immediately guilty as he was much older than me and we were still in the house of the Lord. A few days later, I bounced into him at the supermarket. Just as I was starting to think it must be a sign, he asked me out to dinner.

He was 23 years older than me. He was divorced. He liked good food.. and me! We got along great and after about four fabulous dinners, one night he kissed me. Just so. As if he had done it everyday before.

Now I am a finnicky person yes, and I had been studying him to see if there was just one little thing I didn't like that would turn me off. Nose hairs, long fingernails, stale geriatric breath, etc etc but nothing. He was always very well groomed, nice smelling and, well, his kisses were sweet. So much for my theory about old[er] men. This kissing and stuff continued for a while until one day I was by his house picking up something for him, I was talking to him on my mobile:

Me: "you didn't tell me where to find the keys bredrin"

Him: "they are on the table. and I am NOT your bredrin.. I am your MAN."

Me: **silence**

The first time I was ever stunned into a relationship. I had to take a lie down on his bed.

All in all, it turned out well. Great even. Most of the time...

He took my decision to move to another country quite well [in comparison to some others. soon give you that story] and even toyed with the idea of expanding his business into some other islands as an excuse to see me more often.

We keep in touch. Alot.

On Alpha Males..

I read an article online today about Alpha Males .. among other things it said that they cheat because they think it is their divine right as a 'leader' to have any woman they want. *ugh* The article was analysing why supposedly smart men like Clinton and Major would have affairs that they knew could potentially ruin their Alpha status. The simple conclusion - because they can. To be Alpha you gotta live Alpha. No hesitation, no consultation and certainly no regrets.. unless, of course, you get caught. Beta's usually forgive tho..

And I thought of all the women who are so deathly attracted to these Alpha males. Used to be they were all underlings: secretaries, interns and the like .. but nowadays the Alphas are getting demanding: former international beauty pagent winners with law degrees are standard fare.

I have often been called an Alpha female and with good reason too.. but I must admit to having fallen for the wiles of a few Alpha males in my time. I think it starts with admiration for me.... but it usually ends with too much ego consuming the air in the room. An Alpha was once giving me a whole speech on the top 10 reasons why I should be his mistress [go ahead, laugh out loud] and he ended with: 'besides, I deserve it'. **insert 21 gun salute***

Now, how do ya like them apples??

The Cowardly Lion

We met in a club. It was a group and he barely made an impression. We met again in another club; he seemed slick and lecherous. Proof that you should always go with your gut. He made a mild pass at me, I politely declined. Then I found out that he was the senior of a guy I was dating, a fact which seemed to irk him seriously. Then I had the further misfortune of encountering CL in a work related environment. He took the opportunity to goad and I suppose attempt to belittle me. He did not limit this to his interaction with me but went on to say untrue and unflattering things about me and my qualifications in public. As if he didn't think I would hear what he had to say about me, he proceeded to hit on me, AGAIN, in the presence of the guy I was dating. Anyway, I guess I should be grateful because CL helped me realise what a wuss my date was. Have been so blessed as to not see him in awhile, however, the world is small, I am sure we will buck up again... and somehow I don't expect that he will have grown up.
Lessons Learnt: Never underestimate the power of bad mind. The fox who can't reach the grapes says they are sour.

The Wallaby Prince

We met in the first class lounge at London Heathrow. I saw him when I entered and thought to myself that he looked better in real life than in the press. I was standing by a magazine rack when he came and stood by me. As I browsed I heard him say something like 'So, you on the Jamaica flight too?' I continued reading until I realised that no one had answered him. I looked up and realised that he was talking to me. HHAHAHAHHAHAH.
We became fast friends, chatting in the lounge and onto the plane. On board he somehow figured out how to move to the seat beside me. We chatted more, he told me bedtime stories to help me sleep. He got me tea. Generally attentive and very surprising to me.
So I was even more surprised when we landed and he continued to call and see me. I can't say I was like really attracted to him but I was drawn by what a cool person he is. I guess in my mind I figured he was just having a lil fun with me and would soon go back to his 'appropriate' type.
Well wouldn't you know that this crazy prince ended up marrying a very 'inappropriate' girl a few years later!! Gave up everything for her. A fabulous story, ent? I missed my chance to star in that epic.. but I am so very very happy for them!
Lessons Learnt: Love really does conquer all. Wow. Who knew? :)

On Jean..

I have spent some time trying to pick out an image to put in my profile. This is a photo from my Trinidad Carnival Band, Tribe's offerings for 2007. This is from 'Jean and Dinah' a Peter Elias private section. It is Jean and the American sailors. I just love it! Not only do I like the outfit, I love the adoring male counterparts. I am not playing in this section but I am still loving it. So thats it for now.

Mr. Default Settings

We met at a barbeque and dominoes session of a common friend. He was very low-key, in fact I only noticed him because he was a new face and he had a foreign accent plus he was checking me out ;). Anyway, it didn't take long to find out that he was yet another CSME mover and shaker who had recently relocated.. so I offered to help out in his settling in. [Not that I even live in the country mind you.. HAHAHA]. He seemed kinda shy in the face of my bold 'nuffness' .. but it was endearing.

As fate would have it, I spent the next couple of weeks travelling everywhere else. He did keep in touch tho, thank goodness for Digicel - roam like your home!! When next I passed thru he was in the process of moving into a lovely townhouse in one of those ex-pat communities. Well, yuh know this lil lady done watched one too many shows on HGTV.. I was on it like white on rice. He seemed to really appreciate it tho and his place is looking great.

Since then we been seeing each other fairly regularly.. He calls often for us to have dinner and a chat. He is about my age but really works too hard. Bit of a Mogul-in-Training yes. His blackberry rings constantly and it seems to always be work related. He also seems to be wound up and stressed most of the time. Steeeuuups! I have been there, done that and got the baby tee. Maybe I can help. Keep y'all posted ...

The Sultan

We met in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton. We were both attending an investor's forum for a new upscale tourism product. He is a renowned local boy turned international mogul: Billionaires Boys Club. I had seen him the day before in the common sessions but had not met him. I was intensely fascinated by his projected power, wealth, business acumen and of course the very very suave Armani suited package it was all wrapped up in.
The second morning, I was up early to try to get a head start on my day and he apparently was up playing his daily tennis. He was rather chipper and merry; a stark contrast to my not-a-morning-person gloom. He was efficient and polite in his greeting, I'd even say he transferred his confidence through his handshake. I was hooked. Easy as that.
We met many times over the course of the next few months, I can't quite recall what the excuse was. Then he started talking more than shop and I realised that somehow I had captured the attention of this much desired and admired man. I think the main root of this interest was the fact that unlike most people I neither fawned over him nor kissed his ass. Maybe he wanted to know why..

Anyway, again years have passed and our friendship has been cemented. Over time he has always been lightly flirtatious with me but he has never ever hit on me or made any moves at all. But hey.. he does have a fairly famous though slight trophy wife. The day I told him I had decided to take up a consultancy that would relocate me to another island was the first time I saw him kinda unnerved. He tried to quash the idea with an authority I suppose usually works on others.. but I had to remind him that he aint my boss or my man and my mind was made up.

Somehow I don't think this story has ended yet ..

Lessons Learnt: Every single encounter with the Sultan was a life lesson. As soon as I find the words to articulate them, I will write it down.

On Island Spice ...

Hello Folks! For a long time I have been harassed by friends to write my memoirs. Seems at bit silly to me because I am still RATHER young and I am sure life has much more to show me. None-the-less, I have had an interesting and eventful life to date. Maybe I should write some of it down before I forget. I believe that life is what you make it and I make sure mine is great!!

Okay, so here is the deal: I am going to use this blog to record some of my experiences - mainly man and relationships related but also just about anything that pops into my head. Don't expect any deep philosophical musings or up-to-the-time political commentary: I do enough of that at work! Don't study the dates on the posts because some of these episodes took place in the distant past. Also, its my blog so I reserve the right to embellish the stories as I wish and besides I have a horrid memory so some of the blanks will be filled in with my wild imaginings. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the chupid and the litigious.